We have 6 months until we’re officially both 30 and eligible to adopt from China! As such, we are starting to look into the different special needs to see what we’re open to. Up next: deaf and hard of hearing. I have spent 3 solid days researching this need, the resources in our community, the educational choices, ASL learning…lots of stuff. My conclusion: We could do it. Talking to hubby about any of this though: excruciating. First, he doesn’t want to read anything. Says it seems pretty straight forward and doesn’t need to. Next, whenever I try to ask him what he is thinking about it, he’ll say something kinda vague, and if I try to inquire further, holy hell — I’ve just gone too far.
Tonight though, I finally got him to figure out what it is that’s bothering him. He said he’s afraid of magnifying problems. What he means is that we’re going to be adopting this kid from China who is already has these issues of being different from us and we’ll already have one culture to honor and teach the kid about. By adopting an deaf kid, we’ll have a whole other culture we’ll have to make sure to expose the kid to and make sure they are comfortable within even though we are both hearing. This, I think, is a valid concern.
Problem is, I can’t find any resources that discuss this. I’ve searched online for articles or posts from people who have adopted a deaf child internationally that speak to this issue. So, I’m not sure how to respond. Guess I’ll just do some more searching.
Check out http://www.saffronpress.com/books.html . I’m not sure that the author discusses her son’s hearing, but he is DHoH.
Have you read the work “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley? Easy enough to Google.
Lastly, whew!, folks find themselves parenting kids who are different every day. It’s one of parenting’s little secrets: None of them are like us and honoring that individual is always a concern. The “How to talk so XXX will listen, and listen so XXX will talk” series is great (where XXX = kids, teens, students, etc.).
Terrific resources! I’m always looking for more. Thank you so much for the head’s up!